ALTERNATIVES TO NURSING HOME CARE?

ALTERNATIVES TO NURSING HOME CARE?

by

Irene A. Masiello


Being a holistic counselor, I am all for alternatives and why not one for nursing homes?

It's been calculated that the average cost of nursing home may come close to or exceed $200 a day. But, there is a better way to get old and decrepit and enjoy it. Some brilliant person has checked on accommodations at the Holiday Inn.

I am told for a combined long term stay discount, senior and AAA discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves more than $150 a day for: breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want (think about those early bird specials?), or room service, laundry, gratuities and TV movie specials. Plus, they provide a pool and one could not want for better exercise than swimming.

Also, most Holiday Inns have a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, some have coffee makers and free coffee and all have free shampoo and soap.

Five dollars worth of tips a day will have the entire staff tripping over themselves to help you. And, they treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There is usually a bus stop close by, and many times seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up if you fake some disability and why not? The federal, state and local government fakes interest in this country's seniors.

A local City University of NY community college provides free college classes to seniors on a space available basis. It's better than dormitory life. Hell,if there is a small refrigerator, buy a couple of six-packs and relive your youth. As with all health care matters, I checked with a licensed, professional medical specialist. My internist said this: "no beer if you're a diabetic." Beer contains maltrose (no wonder why it tastes so good) and it's a sugar. He, however, "highly recommends ANY non-sweet red wine," though. Now I remember the reason why this guy has been my doc for the last 25 years.

To meet other people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport might as well fly somewhere.

Otherwise, the cash keeps building up for other recreational purposes. If you are politically active, however, don't engage in forms of entertainment that got the former governor of NY dethroned, otherwise, have a good time....you're old and you might as well have some fun while you can.

Sell everything you own before someone steals it--have you heard that elder exploitation is a booming business, in fact, there may be reason to believe it is a cottage industry? Think about buying a lap top to stay connected to the net and all those special Internet deals while you are a moving target...moving about is great exercise, too. The world will always be at your finger tips with your wireless laptop. Check out www.CraigsList.com... Could you want for more?

It usually takes months to get into a decent nursing home. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today and everyday!

And you are not stuck in one place forever. If you don't like the place, take your business somewhere else...you are free to roam about the country and other countries as well. Think about it... you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Let the city services determine where you stay. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.

Need more towels? TV on the fritz? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced...more pillows? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The staff at Holiday Inn is better than family and a couple of bucks makes them very happy and accommodating which is more than many of us can say for our kids.


Holiday Inn has a night security person, 24/7 front desk reception always ready to take your call and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are okay everyday when you get fresh linens. Do you change your linens at home everyday? Your quality of life goes up at Holiday Inn.

If you are not okay, they will call a doctor, the coroner or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, let alone see you, and they will probably check in for a few days mini-vacation, pay for themselves and not even inconvenience you. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

Like I always say...there are no such things as "problems." Everything comes down to creative challenge resolution.

But, wait, don't get started on this quite yet. Let me purchase Holiday Inn stock first. But before I do, please remember that old age and guile will always outsmart youth and talent. According to the New York Times yesterday, "the over-65 vote is traditionally twice as large at election time" than it is at the primaries. Let the election pollsters and media remember that when the boomers and their parents exit the voting booths in November.

© March 2008-Irene A. Masiello, All rights reserved.
Irene A. Masiello / author: PARADISE COSTS--A Victim's Daughter Fights Back Against Elder Abuse...the first pro-active, grassroots REALITY WRITING book urging Americans to help STOP ELDER ABUSE NOW / Elder Advocate & Member of the Elder Justice Coalition / Founder: Starlight Network News / Certified: Holistic Counselor, Stress Management Consultant & Adult Educator / NYC-based magazine columnist authoring a holistically based, spiritual self-help & personal empowerment column since 1998